4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If I die, sorry about rent.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
