stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
