Responsibility does not care about your dick.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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