Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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