i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
