If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Holy sore nipples Batman
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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