I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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