Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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