they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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