i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
