I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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