Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
