i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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