It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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