Michael Bay diarrhea
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
