shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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