My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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