Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
