college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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