I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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