You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
