I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
