Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
