So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
