He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize