It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize