wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I am naked and annoyed.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
