stop calling my apartment porn island.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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