New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
