You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
