I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
