I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
