Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
