she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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