I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
