He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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