and i looked up. we had an audience...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
