she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
