just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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