How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize