He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
