Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
