Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
