I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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