I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
