I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
