There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
