I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize