Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
