A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
