So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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