somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
