DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
