She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
