we made out on top of his cat.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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