**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize