my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
