I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
