Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
