i jhust puked up my retainher.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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