She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
