you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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