I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
