turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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