So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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