My room smells like vodka and shame
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
