I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
