Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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