yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
