so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize