just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
