This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
