Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
