I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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