I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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