I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
